Warcraft III: Childhood in a Game

The questions is often posed, “What is your favorite game of all time?” A lot of people will say things like Halo 3 or Skyrim. Some people have oddly specific games. As for me, Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne will go down as my favorite game of all time. I can’t speak for the future, but as for the present it has been a game that still brings my friends together in unbridled laughter.

Here’s a few of my favorite games and stories from them.

  • Castle Builder – 12 Player Map
    The idea behind this map is to build up your kingdom, army, and economy to take over the world. With 12 players, you’ll build alliances which you can break at any time. You can also have enemies submit some of their income to you in exchange for a peace treaty. The only way to defeat another player is by destroying their castle which is the first building you’re able to build.

So many great times on this map. I would say as a quick story, there is a unit called the “Longbow” and they’re basically very weak archers that have a far range. That means usually they’re good up on cliffs or behind walls.

Well my good friend Bert (the same one from Potheads, Run!) decides he’s going to show my friends the game to get them pumped about it. Well he makes a quick base and builds the most basic unit: the Footman. Upon completion, he rushes his army around wildly just to show combat.

Well the base he found was littered with Longbow’s. Just absolutely overkill on them. Well Bert’s army quickly melts and all that’s left is one measly footman. He somehow escapes the range and rushes to the top of a waterfall hidden route. We all cheer and declare him “Bob the Footman”. Not but a moment after he’s named, one single arrow flies across the perfectly peaceful water. It was as if the arrow had to fulfill a singular purpose and that purpose was death.

Bob fell to that one arrow and from that day on, the legend of Bob the Footman would live on in us all. Always one footman would be in every army to commemorate his bravery that day.


Now that’s not even the craziest story from this game. I have a ton that would fit here, but I’ll go with the one I feel the most passionate about. It’s the day that Bert betrayed Juan and I (same Juan from Why I’m Green Bay Packers Fan).

The game started off with 12 players. Of course, Bert, Juan, and I quickly made an alliance and built up our bases. My own kingdom was next to Juan’s while Bert took a base further North so that our power could be spread out and hit more people.

As I’m sure you’ve gathered about young Bert, he loved a good story. So he was none too happy that I was quickly trying to take out a player who built a bit too close to the base Juan and I built. That’s when his evil machinations began.

Our armies at near peak strength for early game, Juan and I began to charge in to destroy our neighbor. He had simply built too close to us and we needed room to expand our defenses.

Bert moved in workers, unbeknownst to Juan and me, and built a wall cutting off our army and our base. This caused us to panic and pull our armies to try and destroy the wall. Then Bert marched his fresh army down and started hitting our base along side our neighbor, whom we nearly destroyed.

Our crops were burned. Our people were slaughtered. They left none alive. What soldiers did manage to break the wall of betrayal were only met by swift deaths at the hands of our betrayers.

They conquered the lands until all we had left were our castles.  We were building workers to repair our castles from the archer attacks, but in the end there was no hope. Our great kingdoms would never see the growth and prosperity they once had…

That is until our would be destroyers were attacked on another front.

Suddenly they had to pull back from us, seeing as though we had already been destroyed, and send their armies to the front lines. Juan and I knew what had to be done and we knew it had to be done quickly. We sent our workers off into the southern jungles where no one had built up and started construction on a new kingdom.

Bert and his new ally were waging war with the other players so they only checked in on our base every few minutes, only seeing our castles and nothing more. Yet in the south, we had rebuilt our economy and were slowly amassing an army.

The final hour came when the enemies broke down the walls of our neighbor that nearly destroyed us. When the walls fell, Juan and I unleashed vengeance upon the enemy. They were not prepared for a cavalry assault from the south,  and so we finished what we set out to do in destroying our neighbors castle.

Now it was time to show Bert what happens to those who betray.

We quickly rallied with the other players, siting that Bert had cause all of them some form of anguish. His betrayal of us was all that was needed to load up on a super alliance.

Bert was cunning at defense so he was not ill prepared. But the blood of our people was rubbed into the foundations of his land, and so only destruction would cleanse his tainted kingdom. We waged a long war and in the end, Juan and I dealt the killing blow.

It was a truly transcendent comeback story that almost ended in tragedy. I hope you’ve learned not to betray us in the future, Bert! Or at least to finish what you’ve started.

  • Lord of the Rings: Fellowship Quest – 9 Players
    This map was a Warcraft III recreation of all three movies (or books) of the Lord of the Rings journey. Each player controls one hero in the fellowship and takes them along their journey. There are “revive” points in the story so if one or more players die, they can revive (as long as someone makes it there). If you don’t have 9 players, everyone has control of the non-PC characters.

This one was always a challenge to get going. We more often than not could only get to about Amon Hen before giving up or dying. I’ve beaten it a few times but it’s always a blast to play through the journey.

Juan and I were our school’s official Lord of the Rings experts. We would obsess over the characters and story for days. In fact, I met Juan because he claimed to know more than me about the films. He once quizzed me by asking, “What does Aragorn yell after jumping off the ruin in Amon Hen?” I had no idea and thus my honor was hurt that day. (It’s “Elendil” for the record. Never will forget it now.)

The joke we always had with this map on Warcraft is that as soon as we got to the Two Towers part of the map, Juan’s mom would always be there to pick him up. It nearly never failed no matter how much planning we’d go through to make sure it didn’t happen.

We’d always pawn off some poor suckers to play Merry or Pippin. It’s not like those two are awful characters, but our middle school selves wanted glory, not hobbits. If you had to be a hobbit Frodo or Sam were more attractive choices. The goofy duo always had a slow point at Fangorn Forest where they’d have to wait for the rest of the group to catch up.

To this day we can’t get 9 people together to play this one. Most of the time it’s less about motivation (and less about mom’s picking us up) than it is about time commitment and connectivity issues. This map is always one of the most interesting to play for sure.

  • Life of a Moron (Life of a Peasant) – 12 Players
    This is a role play map where you take over various roles of a town and essentially just do whatever you want. It’s a fun little map that has us rolling around with laughter whenever we play.

The hilarious encounters we have in the game are uncountable. But for this story, let me set you up with a brief characterization of a few of my friends. Bert was in this one, but I don’t think you need me to talk about him again.

I have another friend named David, but we call him Dubz. He’s a great friend that cares about how everyone is doing. He also loves to game and has a heart of gold. I suppose that’s why things went down the way they did that fateful night…

Our story begins when we decided what genders our characters were going to be. I chose to be a male along with Dubz while Bert went with a female. We were all playing straight characters so this meant there was a clear competition for the affection of our only female.

Dubz got the upper hand right away when it came to job procurement. The best jobs to have in the game are mayor and doctor.

Mayor gets taxes from all players at various points in the game and thus is able to profit without doing much. You can increase taxes and put a hurting on the other players but they can choose not to pay them. That would mean if the police chief wants, they can arrest the offender.

Doctor is a great job because you’re able to kill “germ” units which give a great amount of money and experience. Dubz and Bert both grabbed the doctor jobs which meant they’d have a lot in common and lots of time together.

Our young and lively doctors flirted a lot. They’d enjoy each others company and would often move together throughout the map. Yet, in secret, I was also pining after the young female doctor. The two of us often met in private and had various levels of relations.

The time came when Dubz the doctor had enough money to buy a large home. He was about to propose to Bert when suddenly I jumped in and proposed first. There was great protest and a huge falling out between the two of us. We fought and had contests to prove who was better.

Yet our doctor with a heart of gold, Dubz, had no idea his fate was sealed.

I, as mayor, humbly conceded that the two of them were just too perfect for each other and that I would take up another as a wife. The game was made so that one could simply buy and control a second unit which would serve this purpose.

The two of us grew respect for one another, and I mentioned that I would love it if Dubz served as my best man during the upcoming wedding between the newly bought woman and myself. Dubz happily obliged his newfound rival-friend.

The process one goes through in this game to be married is standing in two circles next to each other in the church of the town. Then two rings would appear in the inventories of the two being married. This signified the bond.

Bert was sitting in the front row of the church while I waited next to the circle of marriage. Dubz stood proudly by my side while my female unit stood close to the second circle.

I read a very quick speech and asked if anyone in the church would object to this union. No one spoke. I also asked if anyone would contest this union and press for a divorce. No one spoke.

I stepped into the right circle. Bert rushed up and stepped into the left.

The young doctor Dubz saw this betrayal and crumbled. His beautiful female doctor companion had schemed to hurt him this way and now was betrothed to another man, his arch rival. He quit his job and became a hermit.

That’s the type of stuff that can happen in this game!


I have so many more games I could talk about:

  • Run Kitty Run
  • Peon Olympics
  • Gias RPG
  • Dawn of the Dead
  • Naruto Ninpou
  • Rabbits vs. Sheep
  • Gem TD
  • Age Advancement TD
  • Wilderness Survival
  • “The Jumping Game”
  • Dodge ball
  • Cruiser Commander

Yet I want the main three to be up here. We still play this game to this day and it’s still juts as fun as I remember. I didn’t even mention the actual game and the lore behind it, which is just as in depth and enthralling as anything I’ve played.

Overall, I hope this game gets some sort of a boost into the current world of RTS. I feel like it could overtake Starcraft II if it was done right.

That’s my thoughts on the epic game. Thanks for reading!

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